“You really think this room is clean?!” I sarcastically say to my boyfriend.
“Yeah, everything has its place on the floor.”
My heart has its place with the swimming pool. The temperature, the waves, the smell, everything-belongs to me.
I remember the first time my mother took me to the pool. One small inner tube, two huge floaties, and one lifejacket later, I was a pro. Once it was time to leave, I cried for hours on end wishing to go back to that pool.
I felt like I was swimming through clothes in my boyfriend’s room. I guess that’s what college does to you: dirties you up.
Within forty-eight hours, he leaves to go fulfill his dream and I’m stuck in high school. You can cross out glamorous lifestyle from my resume.
The minute my toes touch the surface of the water, my thoughts melt away. Nothing bothers me while I’m in that pool. It’s me and the chlorine. I don’t think anyone understands the feeling of complete emptiness until you are under that water. Silence surrounds me.
I swim with a necklace give to me from my mom. My dad gave it to her more than forty years ago as a way to show his love to her. It’s my good luck charm.
I really like it so far. I like how you go back to the memories of the swimming pool. One thing I might do that might be interesting is when your talking about the floaties and intertube and etc, break and make it like a shopping list or a bullet point list. I'm just thinking back to cake when she makes a list of drugs she brings. IT would be similar to that. The one other thing, at the beggining of the third paragraph you say you want to swim through the clothes, it kind of contradicts how you felt like it was messy because why would you want to swim through dirty clothes? Maybe you have a different meaning for it though, just something to think about. It's looking good so far.
ReplyDeleteI like this! Right from the beginning your connection between the boyfriend's room and swimming is really clear-- I like how they pull together ("swimming" in the mess and in the pool). I'm wondering how you are going to tie in the necklace, and why you have the necklace when it was given to your mother. The one thing I was sort of confused about was your sentence "my heart has it's place with the swimming pool"-- I think you are saying that you just love swimming, but I wasn't totally sure. Maybe the wording could be a little more clear there? Looks really good so far!
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