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My boyfriend gave me some shirts as a reminder of him during our soon-to-be long distance relationship. One more good luck charm to add. While packing him up for college, I start to think what I had given him during our relationship, and if that was enough.
I smear Burt’s Bees all over my lips while watching this slide show of our relationship run through my head. Layer after layer, I cover what’s hiding underneath. My true fears are too scared to come to the surface.
My first swimming and diving meet took place only six years after I first touched the beautiful water. Step after step, getting higher and higher to that diving board, my nerves overtake me. Close to passing out, I took one long, deep breath. Next thing I knew, I was submerged in the chilled water almost eleven feet into the ground. Nerves vanish into calm energy. Fighting for air, I swam to the surface. I see the results: 9.6 all across the board. I knew I had won the meet.
Tears rush out of my eyes like fish swimming away from a shark.
“Jordan, Jordan, it’s alright. We’ll talk everyday while I’m gone. I’ll count the days until I come back. I’ll be thinking about you every night. We still have two more days until I leave,” Christian pleads, scared himself.
“I love you,” I whisper as the Burt’s Bees melt off my lips.
Loud screams come from my parents in the bleachers. I receive my gold medal for the Juniors Dive Meet. My first gold medal. It’ll look perfect on my nightstand.
One large celebratory dinner later, my sister says she’s proud of me and gives me flowers, Extremely nice gesture for her to do, I think to myself. And then, my parents say those three words that strike my heart, “We love you.”
The gold medal is made of my dreams. I never participated in a diving meet. I’m afraid of heights. Jumping off a twelve foot high dive is not my cup of tea.
Just one more detail you can cross off of my list of accomplishments, or lack there of.
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Again, looks great! I love how it all pulls together, and I see more now how the necklace connects to the rest of the story. The thing I am wondering about is your last couple of sentences-- are you saying that you made up the whole gold medal thing? Or is it that you had never participated in a diving meet before, and so this one was a milestone? I guess I was a little confused about what you were saying in that last paragraph.Other than that, I love how the paragraphs parallel each other, and the way you describe your surroundings and actions. Looks good!
ReplyDeleteI really like it!
ReplyDeleteI'm a little confused though about the water analogy. You say that you never actually were in a competition but then you continue to talk about your love for swimming. Maybe find a way to clarify this. Other than that it looks really good. I love the connection between the messy floor and swimming.