“You really think this room is clean?!” I sarcastically say to my boyfriend.
“Yeah, everything has its place on the floor.”
My heart has its place with the swimming pool. The temperature, the waves, the smell, everything-belongs to me.
I remember the first time my mother took me to the pool. One small inner tube, two huge floaties, and one lifejacket later, I was a pro. Once it was time to leave, I cried for hours on end wishing to go back to that pool.
I felt like I was swimming through clothes in my boyfriend’s room. I guess that’s what college does to you: dirties you up.
Within forty-eight hours, he leaves to go fulfill his dream and I’m stuck in high school. You can cross out glamorous lifestyle from my resume.
The minute my toes touch the surface of the water, my thoughts melt away. Nothing bothers me while I’m in that pool. It’s me and the chlorine. I don’t think anyone understands the feeling of complete emptiness until you are under that water. Silence surrounds me.
I swim with a necklace given to me from my mom. My dad gave it to her more than forty years ago as a way to show his love to her. It’s my good luck charm.
*** *** ***
My boyfriend gave me some shirts as a reminder of him during our soon-to-be long distance relationship. One more good luck charm to add. While packing him up for college, I start to think what I had given him during our relationship, and if that was enough.
I smear Burt’s Bees all over my lips while watching this slide show of our relationship run through my head. Layer after layer, I cover what’s hiding underneath. My true fears are too scared to come to the surface.
My first swimming and diving meet took place only six years after I first touched the beautiful water. Step after step, getting higher and higher to that diving board, my nerves overtake me. Close to passing out, I took one long, deep breath. Next thing I knew, I was submerged in the chilled water almost eleven feet into the ground. Nerves vanish into calm energy. Fighting for air, I swam to the surface. I see the results: 9.6 all across the board. I knew I had won the meet.
Tears rush out of my eyes like fish swimming away from a shark.
“Jordan, Jordan, it’s alright. We’ll talk everyday while I’m gone. I’ll count the days until I come back. I’ll be thinking about you every night. We still have two more days until I leave,” Christian pleads, scared himself.
“I love you,” I whisper as the Burt’s Bees melt off my lips.
Loud screams come from my parents in the bleachers. I receive my gold medal for the Juniors Dive Meet. My first gold medal. It’ll look perfect on my nightstand.
One large celebratory dinner later, my sister says she’s proud of me and gives me flowers. An extremely nice gesture for her to do, I think to myself. And then, my parents say those three words that strike my heart, “We love you.”
The gold medal is made of my dreams. I never participated in a diving meet. I’ve only swam if it was on vacation. I’m afraid of heights. Jumping off a twelve foot high dive is not my cup of tea.
Just one more detail you can cross off of my list of accomplishments, or lack there of.
Baffled by my confession just two little days before he leaves, Christian mirrors what I had said.
College is the most exciting time of your life, and it haunts me everyday knowing I can’t be right next to my boy living our lives together. On days I miss him the most, I wear the shirts he gave me, so I always have him close to my heart.
Seven hour school days, three hours of homework minimum each night, and college applications is anything but the dream Christian is out pursuing. Who I am, who I want to become, what I want to study is all up in thin air. While drowning through boring and tedious weekdays, I try to remember the reason why I work so hard and why I stay so strong. The answer is still unclear to me.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Collage Second Page
*** ***
My boyfriend gave me some shirts as a reminder of him during our soon-to-be long distance relationship. One more good luck charm to add. While packing him up for college, I start to think what I had given him during our relationship, and if that was enough.
I smear Burt’s Bees all over my lips while watching this slide show of our relationship run through my head. Layer after layer, I cover what’s hiding underneath. My true fears are too scared to come to the surface.
My first swimming and diving meet took place only six years after I first touched the beautiful water. Step after step, getting higher and higher to that diving board, my nerves overtake me. Close to passing out, I took one long, deep breath. Next thing I knew, I was submerged in the chilled water almost eleven feet into the ground. Nerves vanish into calm energy. Fighting for air, I swam to the surface. I see the results: 9.6 all across the board. I knew I had won the meet.
Tears rush out of my eyes like fish swimming away from a shark.
“Jordan, Jordan, it’s alright. We’ll talk everyday while I’m gone. I’ll count the days until I come back. I’ll be thinking about you every night. We still have two more days until I leave,” Christian pleads, scared himself.
“I love you,” I whisper as the Burt’s Bees melt off my lips.
Loud screams come from my parents in the bleachers. I receive my gold medal for the Juniors Dive Meet. My first gold medal. It’ll look perfect on my nightstand.
One large celebratory dinner later, my sister says she’s proud of me and gives me flowers, Extremely nice gesture for her to do, I think to myself. And then, my parents say those three words that strike my heart, “We love you.”
The gold medal is made of my dreams. I never participated in a diving meet. I’m afraid of heights. Jumping off a twelve foot high dive is not my cup of tea.
Just one more detail you can cross off of my list of accomplishments, or lack there of.
My boyfriend gave me some shirts as a reminder of him during our soon-to-be long distance relationship. One more good luck charm to add. While packing him up for college, I start to think what I had given him during our relationship, and if that was enough.
I smear Burt’s Bees all over my lips while watching this slide show of our relationship run through my head. Layer after layer, I cover what’s hiding underneath. My true fears are too scared to come to the surface.
My first swimming and diving meet took place only six years after I first touched the beautiful water. Step after step, getting higher and higher to that diving board, my nerves overtake me. Close to passing out, I took one long, deep breath. Next thing I knew, I was submerged in the chilled water almost eleven feet into the ground. Nerves vanish into calm energy. Fighting for air, I swam to the surface. I see the results: 9.6 all across the board. I knew I had won the meet.
Tears rush out of my eyes like fish swimming away from a shark.
“Jordan, Jordan, it’s alright. We’ll talk everyday while I’m gone. I’ll count the days until I come back. I’ll be thinking about you every night. We still have two more days until I leave,” Christian pleads, scared himself.
“I love you,” I whisper as the Burt’s Bees melt off my lips.
Loud screams come from my parents in the bleachers. I receive my gold medal for the Juniors Dive Meet. My first gold medal. It’ll look perfect on my nightstand.
One large celebratory dinner later, my sister says she’s proud of me and gives me flowers, Extremely nice gesture for her to do, I think to myself. And then, my parents say those three words that strike my heart, “We love you.”
The gold medal is made of my dreams. I never participated in a diving meet. I’m afraid of heights. Jumping off a twelve foot high dive is not my cup of tea.
Just one more detail you can cross off of my list of accomplishments, or lack there of.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Collage
“You really think this room is clean?!” I sarcastically say to my boyfriend.
“Yeah, everything has its place on the floor.”
My heart has its place with the swimming pool. The temperature, the waves, the smell, everything-belongs to me.
I remember the first time my mother took me to the pool. One small inner tube, two huge floaties, and one lifejacket later, I was a pro. Once it was time to leave, I cried for hours on end wishing to go back to that pool.
I felt like I was swimming through clothes in my boyfriend’s room. I guess that’s what college does to you: dirties you up.
Within forty-eight hours, he leaves to go fulfill his dream and I’m stuck in high school. You can cross out glamorous lifestyle from my resume.
The minute my toes touch the surface of the water, my thoughts melt away. Nothing bothers me while I’m in that pool. It’s me and the chlorine. I don’t think anyone understands the feeling of complete emptiness until you are under that water. Silence surrounds me.
I swim with a necklace give to me from my mom. My dad gave it to her more than forty years ago as a way to show his love to her. It’s my good luck charm.
“Yeah, everything has its place on the floor.”
My heart has its place with the swimming pool. The temperature, the waves, the smell, everything-belongs to me.
I remember the first time my mother took me to the pool. One small inner tube, two huge floaties, and one lifejacket later, I was a pro. Once it was time to leave, I cried for hours on end wishing to go back to that pool.
I felt like I was swimming through clothes in my boyfriend’s room. I guess that’s what college does to you: dirties you up.
Within forty-eight hours, he leaves to go fulfill his dream and I’m stuck in high school. You can cross out glamorous lifestyle from my resume.
The minute my toes touch the surface of the water, my thoughts melt away. Nothing bothers me while I’m in that pool. It’s me and the chlorine. I don’t think anyone understands the feeling of complete emptiness until you are under that water. Silence surrounds me.
I swim with a necklace give to me from my mom. My dad gave it to her more than forty years ago as a way to show his love to her. It’s my good luck charm.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)